so explain again why im purple
no
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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