Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
