normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
