everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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