Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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