and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
