I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
