their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
