I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
