Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
