do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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