Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
