My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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