Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
