Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
