So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
