Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
