Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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