Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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