"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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