you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize