i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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