I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
