Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
