Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
