The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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