Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
