just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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