The maid of honor just puked.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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