you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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