i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize