The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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