do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
