Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
