I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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