I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
