I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
