finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
