I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
