what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
two words: eviction party
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Randomize
