I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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