U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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