That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Small penises have feelings too.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
