We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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