So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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