OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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