Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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