Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You made out with two different species that night
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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