We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
