I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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