anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
