matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
