Buhtt sex?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
