Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
