Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
