i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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