right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
